YOU NEED MORE THAN TALENT TO SUCCEED

I think everyone is born with at least a talent. If everyone is born with a talent, you shouldn’t think you don’t have what it takes to be rich. All you need to do is discover your talent, have a passion for it and go for training. The secret of success is like a key. It’s only the possessor of the key that can open the lock. To get the key you must first understand your purpose.

Your talent is the skill you are born with. Your aptitude to naturally do something that is hard. Of cos you have talent. There are people that have talents but do not have passions. Therefore, it creates dissatisfaction because they do not love what they do. Although they are talented they do not like it, so they are always dissatisfied.  There are those who know they have their talent and passion, so they get satisfaction. On the other hand, they are those who do not know what to do but love doing it, they have no talent but they have a passion (it is like a person with no musical talent but have passion for music).

Meanwhile, intense fervour or enthusiasm toward your talent gives way for great opportunities and success. Most times, some talented people ignore their talents and pursue what is not meant for them. Sometimes, it could be that they are in an environment where everybody does a particular thing and they want or have to do the same thing too…, you will agree with me that most people live like this. It might just be to please someone or some people. Sometimes, they have a passion for what is not in them. These kinds of people are liable to getting disappointments and dissatisfaction because they left their world to another. Nevertheless, their passion for something could make that thing theirs if there is determination.

Also, experience gives you an edge to knowledge. It is what you’ve done in life and what life has done to you. Experience is when talent and passion meet with reality. It helps you to bring your talent and passion in real life situation and helps perfect yourself. Don’t miss quote me, nobody can be perfect but the convergence of talent, passion, experience and training can give to a step closer to perfection, so, you need training.

Your formal or informal training is what you have learnt to do. Sometimes your formal training may be in line with your passion but most times it may not directly relate to your talent. For instance, you want to be a musician but you have gone to learn to engineer. It doesn’t mean that you acquired knowledge of engineering is a waste. You may not see the benefit of your training to your talent immediately, but over time you find a way to engineer your engineering (training) into your music (talent).

You may not see the immediate connection but subsequently, there will be a convergence because something in you is going to rediscover that talent and when it discovers it, it will make it richer because you have experience and a different training mixing up with your talent and you would create something more profound and greater. It doesn’t necessarily mean that everything in the school has to go in line with your talent but everything you learn will find a way into your talent if you have passion. Be passionate about everything you do and don’t discard your training!

By Patricia Oke

WHERE DO YOU STAND? MARRY NOW OR LATER

It is no wonder that every young and beautiful girl needs a home to call hers, in other words, a shareholder in the business of home with the husband. As such, one would hear statements like “if I marry eh, I can’t tolerate this and that in my husband house, I will enjoy my husband oh, my husband dares not cheats on me” and so it goes on. Such comments start coming out as soon as the girl noticed that her age mate, classmates, colleagues, etc. are getting married, so she begins to compare the already married to how she hopes to make her own.

Are you wondering why all these? Well, the answer is not a mystery, because I am a girl child who aspires to be a great daughter, wonderful sister, adorable wife and a beloved mother to all concerned. As I wake up each day to the reality that there is no one to call mother, I only console myself with the words that same day, I can be a mother to another of God’s creation.

In the line with this as a girl child, I have always made “family a highly placed priority as that is the only institution that is primarily to my happiness”. Most people will ask me, “You are still very young, beautiful, intelligent etc., why would you want to cage yourself into marriage” I don’t see marriage/ family that way. Yes, there are challenges especially the young couples trying to cope up with the fact that they are stuck to each other forever, plans will change, actions to accommodate the other and so on.

Though not old, but enough to realize that relationship between a boy and a girl this era do not go without sex, most often, it happens to be a jolt of compensation from the lady. From a few adventures, all proved the same and I only had to be more rigid in my decision. I should not deceive myself into any relationship with a no-sex before marriage notion because it all has been failing.

Well, there might still be few out there (I mean the guy) who can at least respect such opinion from their dates, maybe, but rather than playing and fooling around only to be left on the roadside. Please, dear sister, grab the available good vehicle in front of you or you will have to trek or wait for the time in desperation. Be wise Family first!

By Queeneth Nkoro Esseng

A CHALLENGE TO A CHILD’S DIGNITY

I was not born with a silver spoon or with a gold spoon. My parents were not rich before I came into this world and even after my existence, but we didn’t beg for food to eat. Despite the fact that we were not rich, my parent made sure they gave us (their children) the best care in their capacity equivalent to that given to the rich (children) out there. My father and mother never made us do things that deprived us of education or jeopardize our safety. I never hawked anything on the street. I am not saying these things because I am full of myself nor to criticize anyone but to give my opinion on this menace of child hawking.

There is this pain I feel in my heart when I see a child (minor) hawking, especially when he or she should be in school studying. The problem isn’t hawking, rather why should a little child be hawking when others are studying? I understand that Nigeria has given most homes, situations that they didn’t bargain for, but I think a parent should safeguard his or her child or children from danger. The dangers that come with child hawking is much and can have far-reaching effects on the child as an adult.

First, 90% of children that hawk lacks proper formal intelligence because they have limited time to study (that is if they attend school). Second, a child that hawks could be easily kidnapped, raped, killed or can join a bad gang because he or she will go to places even worse places to make sure he or she sells well. So, image what kind of future awaits such a child. Prostitution, addiction, stealing, lying and so on are probably the answers.

Children are gifts given to families from God. If your friend gives you a gift on your birthday, I’m sure you will cherish and protect that gift with your strength. So, why can’t you protect that gift (child) given to you by God with your strength?

I am aware of the fact that times are hard. However, is the little money your child brings from hawking enough to make times easy? My dear, I think it will make things worse because it could change the beautiful future of your child. You child might join a bad gang, bringing ridicule, disgrace or disappointment to you and your family. If you really need that money from hawking, please do the hawking yourself. At least you are old enough to know danger when you see one, but a child might not. Please do not only care for your child, but also protect him or her.

BEING A LADY

            Being a lady has to do with choice.  It does not necessarily mean she has to be between a certain age-grades before she can be called a ‘lady’.  A lady is a woman who is refined, polite and well-spoken.  She is an elegant and good-hearted woman who uses her femininity in the most dignified and endearing way possible.  Before she is called a ‘lady’, she possesses the attitude of elegance, courteousness and self-respect.

            An elegant, gracious loving woman is given a title ‘Lady’ because she uses etiquette and diplomacy in both public and private matters.  She has a firm control on her emotions and conducts herself with wisdom, using discernment and patience in all things.  The humbleness and assertiveness are superb.  She is beautiful from within.  She dresses modestly without drawing much attention to herself and especially not to her feminine charms (attractions). A lady is tasteful, strategic and careful; she recognizes the importance of not overworking herself or becoming solely reliant on herself.  Elegance does not only have to do with manners but also appearance.  A lady is clean both inside and outside; she is beautifully presented and approachable.  She is stylish with brain.

            She is polite, refined and well-spoken.  She is not passive but provides a positive approach to every good or bad situation.  She is positive and respectful.  With her faults and mistakes, she rises up in humility and perseverance.  She apologizes after realizing a mistake or causing offence.  She is humble.  She assists the destitute (poor) because she is humble.  Her humility comes with forgiveness and she does not seek ill will in her heart or with her tongue.

            She is lovable and has self-respect and respects others.  She is principled with essence.  She minds her choice of words.  She is reserved.  Discrimination and prejudice are not the qualities she possesses, she loves everyone and loves herself.  She avoids occasions that can vilify her personality.  She is neither ascetic nor selfish and not opinionated, as her evaluations and conclusions are based on facts, after careful observation.  She is truthful.  She is considerate and loves her partner and others.  She has a healthy sense of self-esteem.  She is not motivated by money and superficiality.  She is not afraid of life and wakes up every day to work.  She is beautiful.

            “Being a female is a matter of birth, being a woman is a matter of age, but being a lady is a matter of choice” A lady: “She is a servant and serves joyfully yet knows it is from the beauty of her heart not from obligation.  She is not pretentious or ostentatious.  She is charismatic and has learned the art of persuasion.  She is self-controlled, poised, charming, accepting of herself and others in a balanced light, merciful and tactful when dealing with situations that render others or her in a negative light, and uncompromising with her value.  She is careful with her choice of words, soft-spoken, slow and clears in her speech.  She is compassionate and passionate but reserved in how and where she displays her passion.  She is not promiscuous and unfaithful to her partner, and any agreement they have is not broken through deceit but rather through honesty and with delicacy if it is to change.  She knows she stumbles and is not perfect, but perfection isn’t her goal, however, she works towards being the best possible version of herself.  She is feminine beyond a shadow of “doubt”

            Any female is a woman or will be a woman but being a ‘lady’ takes choice and work. It isn’t inborn but practised.  It is a fine art and takes focus and consideration.  Make a choice to be a Lady!

LOVE TO BE INDEPENDENT

Have you ever thought of being a woman of your own?  Making an important decisions on your own?  Paying your own bills?  If you are determined and hardworking, trust me, you can be the most important person you want to be, a happy and independent woman.  Meanwhile, to be independent takes vitality, courage, strength, commitment, and hard work.

            Independent women are strong, they are always in-charge and they know exactly what they want.  But it takes a whole lot to be in-charge.  To be an independent woman, you have to have your own life.  Don’t spend all your time pining over someone or something.  Have your own hobbies, goals, aspirations, and more.  Be a person in this world and not just another fly on the wall.  You have to literally provide everything for yourself and not rely on anyone else for money, a home or even happiness.  You will agree with me that, nowadays men don’t want a liability as a partner but an asset, so you need to be an asset to be able to keep ‘him’ well.  Independent women don’t just sit around and wait for something to be handed to them, they work harder than they should, in order to achieve greatness and provide for themselves.

            Believing in fairy-tales isn’t what a woman who wants to be independent does.  You must know that real life isn’t like the fairy-tales.  Real-life is hard work and takes a lot of trial and error to get things right.  Don’t let your fantasies take over you or you’ll end up in disappointment.  You need to know what you want and go for it.  Independent women don’t sit around and wait for an opportunity to come knocking at the door, but they bulldoze through opportunities door and take what’s theirs.  Also, learn to deal with problems on your own.  While it’s okay to ask advice and have someone weigh in on what they think you should do, never put your problems onto someone else and make them feel like it’s their job to fix.  Your problems are only yours and you should act as such.

            However, as there are good people that will inspire and motivate you so also are bad people that will discourage and bring you low.  Haters are everywhere.  They are online, walking down the street, in school, in your work place and even around you.  You can never escape them.  But if you want to be the kind of woman you want to be, you will learn to ignore them and not let them affect you.  A strong woman will ignore critical comments without letting them affect or take down her confidence, however, constructive criticism can be very helpful.

            In conclusion, you need to have self-esteem and self-respect.  Take up principles that will help you be a better person and also don’t forget to use your time adequately and wisely.  Invest your time in doing what will benefit you positively and make you progress.  Avoid frivolous occasions, friends, and matters. Just be yourself!